The Days Of Our Lives

Listening to All Along The Watch Tower by Bob Dylan

Ten minutes ago I was feeling stressed.

During my cigarette break, I did some thinking. You know what? I do a lot of thinking when I smoke. Some serious clearing of your head, sorting your thoughts, thinking and reminiscing.

and you know what? i figured that if I spend 5 minutes smoking (and thinking) and say I do about 10 sticks a day. For the past.. 5 years. That's 5 minutes x 10 sticks x 365 days x 5 years.
91, 250 minutes of my life that i've spent just thinking. Disturbing eh?

It's even more disturbing to think that i've had 18, 250 sticks to this day.

Anyways. I'm a little scared by that number now. But I was thinking. And you know what? As much as I'm enjoying my life now, I'll always miss growing up. Or being young. Seriously, I really think i've done a lot, and I'm not proud of a lot of it,

but if I had to, I'd do it again.

It's just, I remember being young, being innocent and thinking that you could fly. Growing up and being scared of the future. In retrospect, i can't believe that i was scared. What's so scary about how i'm living now?

But there was so much to be scared of back then. Yet i wasn't. As much as I'm happy with my life now, and as much as i hated secondary school, I still miss it.

I remember the first day of school.
I remember making friends.
I remember thinking I was so cool because I dared to tuck my shirt out.
I remember getting into fights.
I remember drama.
I remember gangsters.
I remember the teachers. Those bitches.
I remember hiding in the toilets, smoking our lives away.
I remember growing into a senior and how great it felt to walk down the halls of my school like I owned it. Like we owned it.
I remember thinking I was cool because I rebelled againts my parents.
I remember all the suffering when I was at home.
I remember how much fun it was to escape my home.
I remember being out at night with my friends, thinking all along that we were invincible.
I remember the first time I drove a car, my knees wouldn't stop shaking.
I remember that feeling of liberation.
I remember everyone getting drunk.
I remember the sirens.
I remember the cops.
I remember rubber burning rubber.
I remember that jail cell.. it was more time spent thinking.
I remember sitting in the cell and all I could think of was songs that reminded me of happy times and how jail cells are great places for thinking.
I remember exploring haunted houses.
I remember going to town, we thought we were cool.
I remember meeting strangers.
I remember my first time clubbing.
I remember my first kiss.
I remember that special someone.
I remember talking about growing up, we never would. But somehow we did.
I remember all of us, sitting around and smoking and thinking 'this is the time of our lives'.

It really was.