Chicken FAT

Listening to Straightjacket Feeling by All American Rejects

I just spent my past hour marinating chicken for lunch tmrw. By marinating I mean removing every single ounce of fat from one entire chicken before I soak it in ingredients. Honestly, if there's one thing I despise more than giant grey ticks that suck on my dog's blood it's little wrinkly white pieces of fat. So to all who wish to marry me one day please be fore-warned that you will spend many-a-days de-fatting my chickens. I also felt bad for the chicken that died for my pleasure. May we have a moment of silence for it.

There are two people I wish to give the opportunity to de-fat a chicken just for my pure entertainment and they are Julianna Lau and Juan Chan. Jules because she has serious sanitary issues. For the one who can not bear the idea of stepping on HAIR let alone using her hands to touch soft, squishy raw fats. And for Juan because he is incapable of putting his hand into a bag of chips for fear of getting his hands dirty, god-forsake the person who even THOUGHT of getting chicken fats stuck under his fingernails.

I believe my mice are starting to reach sexual maturity. They better bloody well be since they're so fucking fat. But yes, i can testify that idea to the fact that Mars II's balls are the size of tennis balls now. And also, I believe that I witnessed his first attempt to shag Hersheys.

It did not go well in his favour.

When the notion of Mars II screwing her entered Hershey's mind I believe she freaked. Honestly, which girl isn't scared out of her mind of a guy trying to have sex with her. Let alone the idea that Mars II has never read the word foreplay in a dictionary before. So she started squeaking her eyeballs out and running as fast as her tiny little legs could take her. Mars II was stumped. So he stood there for the longest of times probably contemplating why the thing between his legs did not attract Hersheys. Hershey's meanwhile, retreated into her watch tower and refused to cuddle with Mars II for the rest of the night. Mars II is actually quite sad.